Love Dandelions is a DBT Skill
How this Emotional Regulation Skill in DBT Therapy can Help
Jul 11, 2009
People with Borderline Personality Disorder can be very hard on themselves. Motivation to change may come from seeing themselves as flawed, but this negative view of the self can lead to burn out and resentment, ultimately sapping motivation.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy helps the client address this dilemma of change, which is an example of a dialectic.
DBT Skills Training
In part of Dialectical Behavior Therapy known as DBT skills training, specific skills are taught to clients. Clients are expected to use the skills in their lives, in order to lessen pain and develop a more satisfying life. The skill known as "Love Dandelions" can help people stay in therapy and maintain their motivation for change.
A DBT Emotional Regulation Skill - "Love Dandelions"
Clients are introduced to the idea that certain troublesome vulnerabilities they may have are like dandelions. (Examples of troublesome vulnerabilities could be: an intense fear of rejection, a tendency to feel empty, a habit of flying off the handle or low self esteem.)
Dandelions are thought of as weeds to those trying to grow a lawn. They can be a nuisance if they are left to grow out of control and take over the lawn. Like troublesome vulnerabilities, dandelions will always try to grow and keep popping up their heads. Gardeners may never be rid of dandelions completely.
If completely left alone to do their thing, dandelions can eventually take over the entire lawn, just as troublesome vulnerabilities can take over one’s life. But if managed by plucking here and there, or planting more grass seed in the bare spots, the dandelions can be prevented from causing harm and completely taking over the lawn.
Love Dandelions Help Regulate Emotions
The gardener need not totally embrace the dandelions or deny that they can be troublesome. Nor must he hate the dandelions and attempt to eradicate all signs of them. After all, dandelions may be considered a weed, but they are also beautiful, bright and wonderful little yellow golden flowers. And they really can't be eradicated totally anyway.
What dandelions are is really not that bad when one thinks about it. The problem is not that they exist but that they can take over. The same is true for vulnerabilities. All people have them. People just need to regulate them.
It is possible to accept that the dandelions will be there, and even to love them, while at the same time deciding to keep them to a minimum because they interfere with an individual's goals and dreams. When applying this thinking to personal vulnerabilities, people can stay motivated to stay in DBT treatment and achieve a more balanced emotional state regarding therapy and life.
Being too hard on oneself can sap a person's motivation to change and make her life better. Using DBT emotional regulation skills like "Love Dandelions" can help people achieve more balance in life and stay motivated to improve their lives.
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